Sunday, September 27, 2009

I never thought I'd be so glad to see a toilet seat...

http://angerspictures.shutterfly.com/


So, here I am in France. I know my last post was fairly positive, but let me tell you the true story.
And, in true literary form, though maybe not as subtle, I'll give you some foreshadowing: it gets better.
Jet lag sucks. I've never had it this bad, but here's a sample of my sleeping schedule.
I arrived Thursday.
Thursday: went to sleep at 10:00, woke up at 4:00 am Friday.
Friday: didn't fall asleep.
Saturday. Slept from 7:00am to 8:00 am, the went running, walked around all day, went out with some people and had wine. Didn't fall asleep.
Sunday: Fell asleep around 6:45am and woke up at 10:30 am.
So, you can imagine how I feel.

This next bit I have emailed to someone who is following the blog. So, sorry for that.

On top of the lack of sleep, I basically have the room/living situation from Hades.
I am staying at a foyer, which is similar to a dormitory, though not associated with a particular university. I won't type the french name because I think anyone can look at this, but it's called the Foyer of Good Advice.

The foyer looks beautiful from the outside. It's an older building with Ivy on the walls, there's a gated entrance. (I'll post pictures later). The flowerbed is manicured, and there are flower post on the doorstoop. The entrance way and inner doors have stained glass windows.
Inside it become a bit darker and the lovely dark, old wood takes on a creepier feel. It's a very old house with a huge appendage. Inside this newer, attached building it looks like a hospital.
But, I live in the old building.
My room is hidden in a corner on the 2nd highest floor, you wouldn't know my room was there until after peeking around a staircase. Ah, yes there it is; one might also lock a princess here in a fairy tale. Although it is purely an aesthetic complaint, the wallpaper is faded and stained and reminiscent of a house in a horror film. Every ceiling is cracked and stained.
I have a very nice tall window with a nice view of the trees. But, the bed.
The bed might have been a hospital bed... in the 20s. It has a metal frame and a kind of metal webbing that holds the mattress. It is smaller than the twin bed I slept in as a child, and it sinks distinctly in the middle. Maybe, this is the good advice? Something about roughing it out?
I have a closet with a sink in it.
You'd think there'd be a bathroom somewhere nearby, but that is not the case. Down one flight of stairs and into the "hospital wing" and down the hall, you'll find the closest bathroom.
Now here's the strange thing. The foyer is all-female. There are no men here except for the director, and I think he has a private bathroom.
Not a single toilet in the entire place has a toilet seat. It's just a bowl. And it's not like they were simply made with out seats, you can see on the toilet bowl exactly where a seat is supposed to connect. What became of these toilet seats? Were they stolen one by one years ago? Did they take them off because there was something unsafe about them? Presumbly, sitting on a seat would be safer. Is this good advice? Maybe they're telling me, be a man, pee standing up, life will be easier. Which reminds me, I saw a story on this on the news when I was staying in Lake Charles, and Kevin was in class. Go Girl!
Additionally, the shower heads are not mounted on the wall, so you have to hold it the entire time or put it down and freeze while you shampoo your hair.
I'm not going to mention how little I've showered since I've been here, which leads to an interesting point.
French people are not as obsessed about covering body odor as Americans. This is a fact.
Maybe, they all have horrible bathrooms like mine, and they can't be bothered to deal with them.

I'm not trying to sound like a pity party. I just think this is a very important part of the new place I'm in.

On top of the room, the first two nights were miserable because the other assistants weren't here, or I had no way to contact them.
Saturday, however, I went from being a lonely, crying, miserable princess in the attack who could barely speak to her mom without sobbing to an assistant de langue with 3 new British friends and 2 new Americans friends.
I finally got a French phone, so if anyone wants to call long distance, I'll send it to you!
I get free incoming calls.
So I hooked up with these girls, we shopped Saturday afternoon and went out last night. It was fun and a relief after my 48 hours of sleepless in solitude. We went to a bar the American girls went to last year... They were both here last year. I must mention that this bar is also toilet-seat-less. The evening was topped off by this ridiculously dancing French man. I can't even explain it. One girl got a video. If she posts it, I'll totally put up the link.
One of them, stays in another foyer. It is a clean, newish building with painted walls, no faded florals there. Her furniture is matching, and it has a meal hall included. She has a private bathroom with a toilet and shower. I peed there today.

I've never been so glad to sit on a toilet seat.

Tomorrow, I'm going to see if they have a room open.

4 comments:

  1. The princess is in what kind of tail?? Please find a place with a toilet seat, otherwise, it will be a looooong 9 months!

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  2. that would be "tale." I'm going to change it.

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  3. I seriously laughed so hard about the toilet seats. Please take lots of pictures! I'll probably never conquer my fear of flying enough to go much of anywhere, so I plan on living vicariously through you. :)

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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